Realized I have not written in a while. Sadly, I wish I had more time to write- I think way too much, and alot of these thoughts end up drifting into eternity and being lost. Sometimes I wish I didn't think so much, and just not have an empty head.
Anyways, spring break is here and I am pretty excited for it.
It feels good to be back home, even though it's quite different being gone for so long. Nevertheless, it is refreshing. I am excited to see what God has in store for me. Honestly, I do not know what to expect.. but I know that God will not disappoint. It is not that I am looking for anything radical to happen to me during spring break, I just know that God never fails- in the little or big things.
All in all, my mind is pretty focused on R-E-S-T. Rest in God, on God, through God. Mmm, that's something to think about. What is resting in God, on God, through God.. Haha, there I go again. Anyways, I have a list in my head of things that would be nice to tackle during break. The list consists of playing the guitar, spending time with family, reading, going a little bit ahead for classes, and alot of stuff actually. I do not have anything specifically planned for break, which is good. I feel like I will naturally end up planning each day to do something with people that I have not seen in a while. But I think I've grown a bit more in seeing that my number one priority this break is to plan to meet with Jesus each day, and not give Him leftover time that comes out of my inevitable busy schedule. Already I might have busy plans this weekend visiting U of I, and plans on Wednesday and Thursday with some people. Honestly, sometimes I wish i could clone myself so I could just spend time with every single person. But obviously, my physical finite being limits me- which brings me to my next thought on the nature of God. Dude, how amazing it is that God is not like us, small and finite. Instead, He is an infinite being who CAN spend His time with every single one of us equally. That's hard to comprehend.
I'm going to be honest, my thought about that is.. "I want to be like God, I want to be able to do that". Yet I realize that let's say I do have that ability, would I even be able to love and cherish each person's time and enjoy spending time with each person? My own heart is quite selfish, and it seems that I have to look at why I want to spend time with so many different people. Reflecting, my heart longs for the relationships that God has blessed me with, and it desires for my time to always be spent with people. I'm quite an extrovert, so the willingness and want increases even more! Ultimately, our hearts are built for company and relationships- but not in other people, but in Jesus only. This bring me back to my first point of rest and making spending time with Jesus as a priority. While it's so easy to fill my time with meeting up with people, sharing stories, lovin', having fun, praying for one another, lifting each other to God; all of it is naught in spending time with JESUS. I realize that even the best of intentions and desires can replace our dear jesus. Hopefully I will not make that mistake this break.. :)
